The one with the letter to my Second

Dear Grady -

You have been my quiet little wiggle for so many months that it's hard to believe you are here. When

I was pregnant with your sister things were different... I read, I planned, I researched, I tracked fruit sizes in comparison to her body size... but with you there was so much going on and I had a hard time believing you were in there... but you constantly reminded me with a poke or prod ever so often. Maybe this pregnancy and our first few months together have been different because you have been this beautiful surprise that I just can't wrap my arms around. I'm so lucky for you, your sister, and your dad that I was nervous and scared. Maybe that's why it's hard to believe you are here... making another dream come true.

Your dad, now he's not scared... he's excited. He's excited to meet you, see you, introduce you to the world and all it has to offer. He's excited but feels the weight of the world on his shoulders to teach you to be a gentleman... one that can change his own oil, dress his own deer, yet articulate his opinion, understand consequences, and know how to treat your partner. I see him already pondering how to get these through to you. You see, he was scared with your sister... who has changed him in ways never planned and continues to "work him over" like I've never been able to.

Your sister, she's a sassified force of busy energy. She's bold, bright, and will be your biggest partner in crime.. if you want it or not. The idea of you two teaming up and growing together is beautiful, thrilling, and scary to me. I'm not sure if she knows you are here or not... she blows raspberries on my belly and will pat my stomach but when we've been offering a baby doll to her the results haven't exactly been model sister material. We'll see if that changes.

Now this is where I ask for your patience. I'm not an ideal mother.. I'm a glorious trainwreck of guestimations and ithinkwelltryits. I felt so confidant before your sister came...only to realize I know nothing. AND now, you are a boy.... I don't know what to do with little boys! So give me a little leeway on that one too! We'll learn together with your dad guiding us.

I do have some wishes for you... just as your dad does. I don't know if I can teach these to you or
hope you'll pick them up along the way.. I wish for you strength of heart and character, I wish for you an appreciation of differences (places, people, things, ideas, food), I wish for you to see the world and ask questions. I wish for you to have a quiet strength of compassion for animals and loved ones. I wish you to appreciate where you've come from but also be sure to look where you are going. The decision you make will take you down paths you may not be aware of. I wish for you the ability to apologize and empathize as sometimes the strongest men stumble on these humbling actions. There is a difference between confidant and cocky... walk that line as best as you can. Surround yourself with role models that you can lead and that you would follow. And finally, know that I love you... you haven't been in this world long enough to know the depth of my love. But don't doubt that everything I do and fight for it's for you, your sister, and your father.

Grow on now,

Mom