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Saturday, September 29, 2018

Amanda's attempt at 35 things she doesn't understand. [Spoiler: there aren't 35 things here]

This year I'm 35.
Things I don't understand as an adult. I'm ripping this off from another blogger because sometimes you do that - it's a compliment - hey wish I would have thought of that first. I started this list MONTHS ago.. which is good because I needed that much time to really add to it. Ponder life and all.

1 - Queen beds for 2 people. Nope. Can't do it anymore. Don't even talk to me about a full - are we barbarians?

 - Why isn't there an official organization offering parenting classes that are mandated. Those people don't come with instructions and it's the hardest fricken job in the world and you are running on no sleep and you are supposed to make rational decisions regarding the molding of a young mind so that they become a contributing member of society versus an ax murderer with insomnia. WHAT?

- How the 60's had hippies but the 70's had disco - how did this transition happen??

- Motivational speeches. Yes, there is a time in my life when I looked for self help and motivational speeches. Now I'm old, bitter, set in my ways and would rather have a practical approach delivered to me on how to get my children to eat with silverware. Maybe a nice 30 second video or a one-linear quote. I don't have time to ponder the gives and takes of reality in fluffy settings - I NEED CONCRETE SOLUTIONS.

- Cheating. If you want out of a relationship. Get out. Respect the other person, your relationship, the time you've invested to have integrity to tell the person you are unhappy. Otherwise, what are you hoping to accomplish? What's the end game?

- Door to door sales in the millennium - how is this working for people? We've been hit up by meat sales, home security, cleaning products... In the 60's it worked because they didn't have internet but today, especially with stranger danger - who is making it by this means? How can this continue?

 - Dog draggin - why do people drag their dogs everywhere. And they want to take them in places and then the hair gets everywhere. I get dogs need to be let out and sure they may like rides but as soon as I take my cat to Lowes because she needs the exercise or doesn't like to be left alone, I'm a freak? And have you ever stared with judgement at a cat in a car. Yes, you have. #doublestandard #leaveyourdogathome

 - Not sharing your passwords with your spouse. Seriously, it's wayyyy easier to have these things because I don't want to be pestered when he's looking for something or have to call and hunt it down. I'm married because I love, trust, and respect my husband... if you can't trust your spouse with your passwords - what are you hiding or what do you feel you need to hide? I know my relationship is not the norm but I can't be alone here.

 - People who print everything.. emails, website, EVERYthing. I get it sometimes you want a hard copy but I've worked with a certain generation who can't read anything unless it's a paper copy. How do they function in this world and why are they printing so much?

 - The question.. "Is S/He a good baby?" After a night of staying up til midnight and barely getting more than 6 hours of sleep in 2 hour blocks, you really can't say what you think. I've loved all my children and they had moments where they are wonderful blissful babies with angel lips and beautiful cheeks but then there are times when I think running away could be a viable option!

- Baby outfits. Maybe I'm a terrible mom but I didn't hardly dress my last two babies in anything but sleepers for months. Why? Because it was easier... I didn't haftah deal with pants or waistbands or going over their heads... I tried to wear cute outfits with Eleanor but by G and A, I gave up. Maybe people are all about exotic outfits but I'm more about a zipper that doesn't make me think... and yes, they can wear the same sleeper 2 days in a row.

- Grief. How it can be all consuming and even the slightest things serve as the trigger - the way someone's fingers are gnarled, an oversized purse, a color. I don't know if I'll understand how grief works, how it seems to linger (like a stench), and how it can tear you down in a millisecond.


POSTING PROBLEM: This sat in drafts forever and I've decided this is a showcases of where I'm at... unable to finish a list of 35 things. It's okay - I'm not going to get down on myself, I aint got time... you can come up with your own :)

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