A letter to my Last.

To my last child, Ainsley Ruth-

Oh little girl - We are so excited to meet you. I will admit, after almost three years of pregnancy, I'm ready to be done but there's something wonderful about the fact that you are warm and safe (and contained) right now. Your pregnancy has been quieter than your siblings - while they pushed and kicked to make their presence known - you've been this quiet wiggle reminding me of your continued pending arrival - nothing too drastic. As the pregnancy came to a close you settled in with your steady heart rate across my body, it seems that you are not in any hurry to leave.

Your siblings are so ready to meet you, especially your sister. It warms my heart when she comes to sit by me and puts her hand on my stomach and talks to "Sister" - she is so curious about you arrival. Her interest peaks Grady's who has laid his head on my stomach just to be close to you. They've created a place for you, just because you belong to us. I'm sure they will be a whirlwind of activity and who knows how you will get along or blend together but be aware of your sister's strong spirit - it will take her far and I hope she can teach you to have a zest for life. Your brother has always been a gentle soul - he may dote on you, as he does with E - it won't surprise me at all. The two of them will be a beautiful balance as you learn to navigate this world.

Your father - oh he is excited to see you- he talks to you now but he mostly ponders about you. He is convinced that you will be another red head with green eyes. I'm thinking you will be our brown eyed blonde - but soon we will know. You are so lucky to have him as a father - yes, he will care for you and protect you and be your sage wisdom and help with your math homework but he is a wonderful girldad. You can credit your sister for breaking him in/down. He will fix your pony tails and troubles as best as possible.

Now me, Oh, I'll confess, I'm scared to death even though I'm excited. I want to try to be the mother that you and your siblings deserve. I don't know how I will do it, but I will try. I'm pretty sure after you arrive, I'm not going to be able to sleep through the night for five years - so be patient with me, I'm tired. The toughest job I've ever taken on is to be you and your siblings' mother. I have some failures under my belt but they've been fairly forgiving of my attempts. We are all in this together and I know there are days when I'll be crazy or you'll make me crazy or someone will be crying - but you and your siblings are my proudest moment and my greatest accomplishments and I'm so excited to see the people that you will become and the people that you are.

Some wishes for you from me for your journey: May you find yourself and in that happiness, may you travel the world, may you find a love that honors who you are, may you be kind, may you appreciate things in life, may you acknowledge your roots and your heritage, may you be loyal, and may you truly know how much your father and I love you -

Mom