Old Questions, Old Year.

I'm so over 2018 - Done. Over. No More. And the closer we've gotten to 2019 - the more over 18 I am. Between work stuff, the truck crash, the dishwasher/ceiling issue, the fallen tree, the broken ornaments... and heaven only knows all the other stuff I don't want/didn't plan for, Good riddance 2018. Yes, there was some amazing in there. The last baby coming, the trip to England.. but seriously, 2018 - I'm done with you.

Two years ago I set out with some questions for the year of 2017.
I looked back on these questions and it hit me how fast things can change. And how much those questions apply to this year.

Whatif we leave Bismarck
- to be honest it's the first year that we've actually talked about it seriously and started game planning career plans and end games. We have not left the city as we love our house and Matt's doing awesome at the airport.

Whatifwe are blessed with another child.
- Last Baby is set to arrive in February. I refer to this addition as compounded chaos. Someday I have no clue if I'm coming or going. We rely on frozen food options and sometimes sleep is just a concept not a practice but we are very lucky to see this little girl come into our lives and are excited for the new addition.

Whatif we have to say goodbye to someone we love.
- this year we did. And I'm not okay with it. Grief is a messy process of stages with advancement and regression. Some days I come to terms with it and others it catches my heart with a cold hand and squeezes the breath out of my lungs. I've not come to peace with it... I'm just aiming for 2019 to be the year I can breath with the loss. Here's to people that you continue to hear in your head.

Whatif we get a different car.
- funny, notfunny? We are driving a different car, but not by choice. After the accident with the pick up we have been using Mommy's car and Daddy's Rental to get around. We have no plans to change out our vehicle. We hope to see the pickup right away in 2019 back in our garage.

Whatif we get to go on a wonderful tip - where will it be?
- The trip of a lifetime would be May's trip to England. We talk about what we saw, what we experienced, and would do it all over again in a heartbeat. My only change would be to stay a few days longer - it was so short and we tried to pack so much in. From now on, our only planned trips are to Sam's Club.

Whatif the Cubs win another World Series?
- They didn't. The Sioux haven't won since the Cubs did either.

Whatif Matt lets me get another Cat?
- I don't want one. One Lola (especially at 3 am) is enough. She's really gone from the top of the heap to the bottom of the barrel since the kids came. She takes it in stride and entertains herself in the summer with the heaps of voles and mice she kills and drops on the deck.

Whatif we finally have a family party/picnic at our house?
- We had the Moser Christmas this year at our house and we also had E's and G's birthday parties and G's baptism. We wanted to do a housewarming party but gave that up a year or two ago. Who are we kidding, we can barely plan an organized cleaning of our house let along a full family affair.

Maybe the questions will be for the end of the year?
-How's work going? Where are we working? What is Eleanor into now? What is Grady saying? What is the new baby's name? How do the siblings get along? How has our family changed? What are we celebrating? What are we sorrowing on? Where have we been? What does 3 kids actually look like? Is Matt going for his masters? What hobby is Matt driving Amanda crazy with? Is Amanda actually sleeping through the night?

It's so hard to predict the passing of time, especially over a 365 day swing. We can plan for some things like the physical growing of our children but we can't plan for how they grow or how they will respond. We can't plan for the emotional response and impact. We know the ticking of time will lead to changes - bright spots and dark, scary shadows but what they specifically are and when they will specifically happen - one can never be sure and it's impossible to fully prepare for that.

First images of the kids in 2018.... so many seconds and breaths ago.

 Happy New Year... to you and yours.

Surgery, Ceilings, Timber, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, and Christmas

Christmas.
It's not just one day in the household of Moser-Remynse.
It's 4 straight days.
Actually this year it was 4.5 days.
That's right - the idea of a schedule with normal eating routine was tossed out the window!

Christmas had a little lay-up before we started. Grady had surgery to put his tubes in his ears. We had had it scheduled for the second week of January but they had an opening that we jumped at. With all the ear infections we've been fighting since October, the sooner those went in the better. He went through surgery pretty well - came out with some tears but was happy to get something in his belly. However on the car ride home - it all came up. And after we got home - it came up again.

That night - after his stomach had settled and E got home, we went to the live nativity that I was aware of. They had individuals in the manger and then beside the manger, there was a pen of animals - a couple cows, a couple sheep, a couple donkeys, and a llama (we think it was a stand in for the camels). E was a little mystified by the whole thing. G just liked petting the donkeys. It was a bit cold that night so we stayed long enough to take it all in.

We kicked off the Christmas weekend small... with the Pinkertons. They were passing through on their way to Minot and it worked perfect to have them stop in for a playdate and gift exchange. E and G came home early from daycare. For the most part, the kids all play so well together. E did hit a rough spot where she chucked a wooden toy container at Oliver and attempted to push her brother down the stairs but I guess we all have bad days?! Oliver, Allison, E and I made pretzel bites - which was fun to do even though E kept gobbling up the building material and coughing on the product!

Saturday was the Remynse Christmas at Eric and Amanda's house. We showed up late.
We started with a few presents to open. E got a baking kit that she really liked. G got a truck that he liked making motor sounds for. Matt and I came out well too - a instant pot and a set of birkenstocks. After lunch - G went down for a nap, Amanda and Eleanor made little fruit Santas. Was cute of her to think of an activity that was age appropriate and E was excited about. E was the most excited about the tablet that Grandma and Grandpa got her - we let her and Grandpa play with it for awhile. Then for supper (the pizza throw down) they got to sit on Grady's new table! Matt and Eric made pizzas for all. I think Matt had the better pizza but Michele and Randy said it was a tie. That night, the kids were tuckered out when they got home!

Sunday was the Moser Extended Christmas at our house. Everything was going fine until about 20 minutes before people started showing up. The dishwasher started backing up and the sink was backing up. Long story short - I know have multiple holes in my guest room ceiling because the water started coming through the light underneath the dishwasher and the seams started giving away due to the water. Jaden and Matt worked hard to figure out what the clog was - I was glad he had support. I will admit at the end of the day I had a meltdown - I hadn't even had time to sort through the baby clothes that I had laid out in that room, so they are just thrown into the other room until I can re-sort through them again. Aside from that - the food was good and the meal went along well despite plumbing problems. People visited and it was fun to hear the conversations and bantering around me. E got along great with all and took a special liking to Sam.


Monday slowed down a bit. That morning, we had our Christmas exchange with our little family. E got an art easel and some jewelry, G got his own chair and a tool workbench. Matt and I exchanged art that reminded us of our England trip - not planned, perfect coincidence. We soaked in them playing with their toys a bit. We relaxed a bit more - eating breakfast, being slow, taking naps (both kids) and then we got ready for the Dagman Christmas. We went and bought a new dishwasher - an unplanned present!

 

We got Christmas outfits ready and took pics in front of the Christmas tree. Ten minutes after the pictures, while we were getting our coats on, the tree fell over. Both of the kids' first year ornaments broke - I was devastated and trying to keep it together until E starts crying. Then I lost it. Their handprints are things I can't replace but Matt and I are going to glue them back together. So we composed ourselves, loaded the vehicle and showed up late to Grace's house. This kids had so much fun playing with their cousins! They had a few gifts and filled up on sugar and we thought we had already pressed our luck when we left at 10:25. Before bed, we got things ready for Santa and put on our Christmas Jammies.

Tuesday - Nothing is so sweet as watching your sweet-faced toddler come running out of her room, in her plaid-dress Christmas Jammies, yelling "Santa is here!" We examined the plate of cookies and spread that we'd prepped the night before and headed down to open our Santa sacks. E got a paw patrol pillow case and paw patrol panties with a wonky donky book. G got a boom box and a "that's not my penguin" book. We got on the road late and headed to the farm.

It was a nice day, relaxed, with plenty of food (prime rib and steamed king crab) - once again, we were gifted too much (that's been the theme of the past 4 days). And we enjoyed conversation and each other's company. The kids both napped too - so that was winning for everyone!

On Monday afternoon -
ALR: Eleanor, Santa will be coming tonight, we need to get ready for him.
EER: Get ready for him?
ALR: Yes, we set out cookies and milk for him.
MJR: And carrots for the reindeer.
EER: And coffee.
MJR: Obviously, you've been talking to Grandma about what Santa needs.

But yes, we made sure our Keurig was on and a K-cup was ready for Santa.

2018 Holiday Card

2018 will be one of those years with the hard and fast swings!

At the beginning of the year, we started with a toddler and an infant and now have two bumbling toddlers that run the house with a baby on the way. Our new house motto is, The Remynse House: where someone is always crying.

Here's a rundown:

Grady - this boy walks, eats, and laughs. He's pretty laid back and he's so used to his sister. He likes to take his shoes and socks off and he loves to eat, I know I mentioned that already but let's call it what it is. He's starting to get interested in books and will drag his bedtime books out and turn the pages and his other favorite toys include the broom, the pieces to the shape sorter, and random kitchen items.

Eleanor - the sass is strong with that one. She's strong willed and fierce and if she'd use her powers for good, she will change the world. She loves hard and strong and has a passion. She's got some hoarder tendencies - she likes to have all her books, or all her animals with her and every morning she drags her pillow, her 2 blankets, as many animals as she can round up, some books, and occasionally her sheets to our bedroom. She likes animals, gardening, and rough housing... her favorite toys are coloring (with stickers),  reading, and making dinner in her kitchen. AND oy is she chatty.

Matt - he's had a full year taking care of the rest of us. He golfed more this year than in the past. He's hunted this year more than the past. He had some big projects at working including the runway project, the PD training, and his first ever perfect certification. He's been busy with some industry research and even made a trip to Cleveland for work.

Amanda - It's been a tough year for me. The highs have been high - like the trip to England, watching the kids grow, planning their birthday parties, seeing both kids grow and change, and getting pregnant with this last baby. But the lows have really taken the wind out of my sails - situations at work and the biggest heartache has been Janice's death. All in all, my family continues to be the bright spot and keeps me going. I feel like I'm in the experience and memory business - whether it's trips to the zoo/Applefest/Papa's Pumpkin Patch/Super slide or everyday fun like raking leaves or baking cookies or making pancakes - I want them to experience life. Smell the world around em and soak it in.

It's been a busy year, one that has taken us somewhere completely different than we would have guessed from last year.

To those that read this... may this holiday season be filled with laughter and light of those that you love. Hold hands, use the china, eat the chocolate, kiss, take the picture, just cherish those that mean something to you - it doesn't matter who they are or where they are as long as they mean something to you.

Love, The Remynses.

2018 Wish List.

Grady
Outside table for eating on
Huge stacking blocks
Radio Flyer 4 in 1 Trike
Puddle Jumper Vest for Swimming
Mittens - preferably thumbless


Eleanor
5T Pajamas
Dance classes at daycare - $45 for 6 weeks
Mr. Potato Head
Baking Apron - child-sized
Egg Sort Set
Magnetic Build Set
Mittens
Sticker activity books
Stuffed Animal Zoo
Puzzles... more advanced (like 20ish pieces - jigsaw)


Amanda
Rothy's size 9 (Twilight Metallic Captoe)
Birkenstocks size 9
Rocketbook Notebook
Instant Pot or similar
12 wooden salad bowls
Pancake dispenser
Jewelry Box
Water Pik - for teeth
Bagnet
Stoller Attacher board
At Home at Highclere, book


Matt
Large plastic storage chest for truck (similar to toolbox)
Grass Seed
Weed and Feed for the lawn
Foam golf balls
Scheel's cards


Family gifts
Diapers - Pampers, size 6 mostly.
Family Zoo Pass renewal

Sota, Light Night, Petroffs

It's been a week.
Highs and lows for sure.

The biggest goal of the week was to get the pickup back to Bismarck. It arrived back at the body shop on Friday afternoon. One of the biggest successes of the week was the other insurance company admitted liability for the wreck - something we knew but hearing confirmation was good. I went to two chiro appointments and have 2 more scheduled - hoping to feel more aligned by the end of the year.

Mom and I also assisted in sorting through some of Janice's things. It was hard for me to see a life and person I value so deeply come down to the bare essentials of her everyday living. There were essences of her there is some of the items - things that I have seen her use daily and things that were so drastically her. I saw the pictures she hung of my children on her wall in her kitchen and I couldn't bring myself to remove them from the wall - like doing so would mean that she's really gone from their lives as she is from mine and that they will never know this spirit who has been so interested in the people that they are becoming. It breaks my heart. I did attempt to gather her essence for them - even though I know it's somewhat useless. Each will be given a teacup from her special collection.
I brought some things for Matt too - her gin, a decanter, and a box of Bob's ties. Which he examined that night and picked 10 or so out of the box of 75.


Baby had a cardio echogram on Monday, which we were glad for the timing given the accident. All looked good. We also followed up with a 28 week health check - all good there, 158 was the heart beat and no gestational diabetes! Health baby is the best news we could have at this point after the scary weekend.

We also had a lot of Christmas activities over the week -
We took our trip to see Santa - I thought this was the year that she really took it on. We've been asking what she wanted from Santa, she's been practicing her "HO, HO, HO" repeatedly, and even has been somewhat singing Christmas carols. She sat on his lap and just pointed at me. The only thing she said to Santa was Mommy. Grady was better-ish. He just kept kicking his shoes off. All in all - it wasn't horrid, there were no tears, and both kids left Santa (or Sota as it sound when E says it) happy and giddy with candy canes in hand. So... success?

We also had annual Light Night - which Matt and I've been looking forward to because E is so observant of the Christmas lights this year. We ate at Taco John's - which I think was Grady's favorite part. He ate more than anyone else. He had a bean burrito, half a quesadilla, half a soft taco, his own portion of ole's, and all the olives off the Feliz Navidad nachos. Oh, I forgot to mention the graham cracker for dessert too. E's favorite snack of the night was the candy cane that we gave her while driving around. She ate half of it and then handed to her dad. It was a good night - Grady fell asleep for a majority of it - that's consistent with last year's performance as well.

The next day, we prepped more Christmas things including organization of the house, setting up the toddler Christmas tree, wrapping a few presents... and so on.  Had to make another run to the clinic for Grady - another ear infection. UGh.

On Sunday, we had Petroff's over to play and exchange gifts. They had a blast playing with Alice. Alice may have been a bit unsure about them - I don't blame her. They beautiful moments of play and when Alice left there were hugs and waving. G kept hugging her time after time - made me chuckle. E also liked reading books with her godmother Shantelle - it's fun to see those two interact together as I know they don't get as much time as we'd like.

ALR: Eleanor, can you show how you do somersaults? 
EER giggles and gets herself ready.
EER does somersault.
All cheer.
Alice does somersault.
All cheer.
Meanwhile, GRR watches. 
GRR sets himself up.
GRR does somersault by himself
All cheer.
GRR keeps doing them, laughing the entire time!

Crash, Jump, Tree

I'mma gonna this post with, yes - we are okay.
We have no broken bones, no hospitalization, we walked away with bruising and tender spots with a side of headaches - lucky.

This past weekend, en route to Grand Forks, we left lunch on broadway in Fargo - started heading west on 7th and got broadsided by a buick who ran a red light on 10th. I can hear the crunch, I can feel the jostle, and I can practically watch each screen play out in my mind from seconds before the actual crash, to the tightening of the seat belt, to the slow grading creep the truck seemed to take toward the street light pole, stopping just shy of the major pole but taking out the pedestrian pole. I've been driving for 20 years - I've never experienced that type of crash. The police appeared on scene, the firetruck, and then the ambulance.

Matt got out of the vehicle to check on the other driver - both of her airbags had deployed - her car looked done. She had first hit us at the front wheel well and then due to the force actually careened back and her rear hit our rear tire well as well before sending her perpendicular to her original travel. 911 was on the phone through blue tooth and asking for address, to which we didn't know - I remember careening my neck through the pain of the seat belt tension to see the traffic signs on the lights above us. That was the first point where we were suddenly very aware we were not at home - we had no vehicle, we didn't know where we were, and we had no back up car. The seat belt tensions had blown and pieces of the vehicle were dragging underneath - these along with the low tires made the car unable for us to drive. Matt began working on insurance angles after the paramedics cleared me and I started working on options for us to get home and also just get out of the cold. We stood there on the corner with our luggage.

We had three heroes that day for sure - I called Jon to let him know we weren't going to be making it to Grand Forks - he was in Fargo and volunteered to come grab us. I didn't have anywhere lined up for us to go but at least it got us off the streets so we could game plan. I was also lucky to remember Matt telling me about NDSU having a game in town that day - I was able to secure a ride back with Wade and Lynn as they had come to the game. So Scraper took us to them and then they took us home. We were sore, tender, sad, and relieved. Aside from having friends to call, and no real harm done, we were so glad that the kids were home with my parents. I've been worried enough about the one inside of me and the impact she's had but compounding with E and G - that's enough keep me awake at night.

Updated Valley News Story.

So enough of the serious - we had a weekend of joy too.

On Saturday morning, GRE had their annual Christmas party. The thing about their party is they encourage family to come - so that gave us an invitation to come with Mom to Sky Zone Trampoline Park. E had already been with Grandma as she had a sleep over the night before. G has been fighting off croup all week so we didn't want to put Grandma through a hard night so he went with us the next day. They had a blast. She was a little ensure from the start but by the end was a little jumping machine. Grady just giggled the entire time and he didn't even jump, mostly just fell down.
The kids then went to out to the farm so we could go to "Grand Forks."

On Sunday, after processing our insurance claim - we headed out to get the kids, did errands, and then headed home for naps. We ended the night with decorating the tree which was a bit like kissing a wolverine. Stressful and not enough arms. There was a lot of "once it's on the Christmas tree, we only look, don't touch." or "Mom is the only one that reaches into the ornament box." or "Grady we don't pull on the TREE!"

ALR: Here's one for you to put up, Eleanor.
EER takes ornament, puts it on the tree on the same branch as she put the last 4 ornaments on. 
Branch has begun to droop.
ALR: Eleanor, why don't you spread out your ornaments more, then you can see them better.
EER: points at branch: This is my stuff.
MJR looks at ALR: That's hard to argue with.