The letter to my tiniest two year old.

 Dear Ainsey Baby -

You turn two today. Your life has been this crazy whirlwind. Almost exactly a year ago, we celebrated your birthday party as the final public event of 2020. This past year as you've grown, you've become used to temperature checks and masks and this makes me sad. We've stayed close to home more. We've stayed in and we've worked to stay safe. You don't know any different than this because it's been your whole life. I don't know if this is the "new normal" or will all be a distant memory for you.

You, my tiny child, are a beautiful flower. Tough in so many ways. You have a vision for things - you have a love to be part of things. You don't just see the world, you watch it. You love deep for those that mean something to you and it's beautiful. Sometimes I balk at your copy cat ways but they tell me so much about your personality. You soak in behaviors, you soak in spirits, you are constantly are watching around you and no body is immune to you to duplicate. When you combine this with your wits - it makes a dangerous combination. You are singing your ABC's with a clarity and counting to ten so well. Animal sounds are mastered. You love your babies. Constantly rocking them or shushing them. 

  

Watching you grow has been this unique journey for me. Unlike your siblings, I've never been able to soak in their little days and ways the way I have with you. I have a sudden understanding for the "baby of the family" concept and fear you will fight that - but in the same way that your brother fights "the boy" stigma or your sister, the eldest's responsibility burden. It's hard somedays to see you growing... remembering your baby days - when you'd sink into my chest. It feels a million moments ago. There are other days where your tone and face bring a smile - you saying "good night" at bed time. You begging your father to "hold you" these growing up moments that tell us exactly where you are beautiful. 

Yes, you are tiny but I do know you are mighty. You will run things - you will know your path. You will watch the world. I hope you push where you know you can make a difference. I hope your smile continues to brighten the paths around you. I hope you find those that love you - that fight for and along side you because you are unforgettable. May your world rise up to meet you and may you be ready. 

Happy second birthday, my baby.

Love Mama

p.s. Today is different than anyone's birthday. Your favorite teacher asked if she and you could spend the day together, her day off, at her house. I couldn't say no. When I dropped you off and watched the interaction between the two of you - I realized how lucky I am that someone cares so much and that you feel the same way. 

She had a beautiful day planned and was excited. You had party balloons, a sash, a crown. You made cupcakes, you did bubbles, you did a painting project. The pictures that she shared at the end of the day made my momma heart soar. Someone had taken time to plan a complete day with the goal of bringing smiles to your face. It was one of the most wonderful things I've seen. I know you won't remember it as you are so little and that's sad but know that Miss Kaylyn loves you and you had something just for you because of how special you are.