To my last baby on my last first birthday

To my last child on her first birthday.

Oh Ainsey - I love you. You are the perfect final icing on the cake to our family. You bring everyone to smiles but I don't think you have any idea of how much you are loved. Your siblings adore you and your dad falls more in love with you every day.

The joke was that if you survive your first year it's not due to the hard work of your parents who have been working to keep you fed and warm, but the credit goes to your siblings who have put you through the paces. You've been pulled at, picked up, clipped with a chair, and literally rough loved on with all the best of intentions. Your first year has been a blur - starting with introducing you to your siblings who began by calling you Angry Roof (E's credit) to watching you and them grow as they now to calling you Ainsey (G's credit).

 

Some beautiful moments and memories include E loving holding you in the hospital room, to G first holding you at home, you keeping me up til midnight most nights for the first or second month, your cheering crowd during tummy time, your soft snuggles for naps - which have never been long, you sleeping in with me when everyone took off to daycare and work, your going to work with me as well as starting a new job, first foods, first rolls, first crawls, the scrunchy nose when we were learning to smile, the way you would whip around trying to see your siblings while you sat in your chair. First Halloween, First Christmas. I've been trying to soak it all in but it's been hard.

You will never not know the blur of life. You seem to ebb and flow with it better than I can. Sometimes you are so quiet soaking it all in that we don't even know that you are there and then there are other times where you make your voice know. You yell, you throw, you speak up as you need to to get your attention. You watch your siblings, you watch your dad, and you watch the world and react. I feel like this is one of your greatest strengths. You aren't afraid to make your place known but don't need to yell just to be heard.

I love you little girl and am so thankful that you showed up in our life.

Love you, Mama.