The one with the Older Lady

I'm 34. Thirty-four and tired. Thirty-four and established. Thirty-four and loved. It's amazing how the slow ticking of time leads you to your path. The culmination of seconds that independently don't mean anything but together have created you, your situation, and are guiding you to your future.

The past year for me has been a blur. Yes, we've added Grady to our picture but I've also seen how quick Eleanor has grown in one year. Last year, she was just learning how to roll over and the passing of time gripped my mother's heart and now I watch her run, climb, soak the world in, and I'm amazed at what she's done with the past year. Grady's past month even has me in awe as I'm not sure where the time has gone. Maybe they are making better use of their time than me.

I've been thinking a lot about time lately... It's been 10 years since I've been out of college, 15 since high school. I've been at my job and in our current house for 4 years. We celebrated our 4th anniversary this year. These are all official passings of time. I look at my mother caring for her mother but also playing with her grandchildren and see that unofficial passing of time. I look at Eleanor's hands in mine and suddenly by comparison, I see the age in mine. Time and aging happens so gradually that it almost feels like it doesn't until you see the big changes when you step backwards to look at the picture. I feel older some days... I know I can't handle hangovers like I used to (if I was drinking), I used to party til 4 or 5 in the am and still try to make it to class, now I need my sleep and long for naps just to make it through the nights with a newborn. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't go back in time and be in my teens or twenties for anything. I look at some of the teens around me and I don't envy their world and naivety. I'll admit now what I couldn't admit then, I know nothing and have a lot to learn. Oh, and I flounder and flail on a regular basis - I wouldn't have admitted that in my younger days.

So I'm officially in my mid-thirties...I'm a daughter, sister, mother, and wife. I'm happy with where I'm at in life and content with eating ham and cheese sandwiches and taking a walk around the block with my family while I point out puppies to wave at. To think, not long ago on my birthday I was partying in Canada....how this world changes.

ALR: Take a good look 
MJR: Because tomorrow you are an old lady?
ALR: yep, old and haggardly
MJR: I don't think you'll change too much.
ALR: Yes, I will. I'm not as young as I once was.
MJR: It's ok... I'm a summer chicken.
ALR: A summer chicken?
MJR: Not a spring chicken, a summer chicken.
ALR: What makes you a summer chicken?
MJR: Spring chickens are learning and experiencing things, summer chickens are steady and settled. You are a summer chicken too.