Okay, I don’t remember last winter being cold. Maybe I’m starting to hallucinate from the below ZERO WEATHER! I actually tried to use my snowblower on Sunday but had to get a lesson from Scott Monroe…thank heavens for him! He’s also planning on showing me how to use my grill later on in life. Thank God for good friends.
Went to Fargo this past weekend for a couple reasons-the best reason was to see Janice and Jerry. I really miss them being so close. The best thing about me moving to Dickinson was getting to know them better. I forgot how much the two of them made me laugh! The funniest part was that Janice waited up for me on Friday night until 2:00 in the morning…My 71 year old Aunt is waiting up for her 26 year old niece and her boyfriend is yelling at her to get back to bed! Memories like that will always bring a smile to my face.
I’m not ready for Christmas I admit, I haven’t bought a present this month and not so ready to yet! This fall has really thrown off my calendar; it doesn’t feel like Christmas is next week. I haven’t baked ANYTHING holiday-ish or even thought about wrapping presents yet. Mom’s side is on Sunday, Dad’s side in on Christmas Eve, and just the four of us on Christmas day. I need to maybe just throw a Christmas CD in and hope for spirit to take me away!
Dan and I won’t be friends, maybe we had too much invested and now our actions are impacting these chances. I know family or friends have made comments about things working out or the possibility of our relationship. I know now that these aren’t options. We are seeing each other in different lights and I know I don’t like it. My goal in dealing with the fragments of our relationship is trying to stay true to the person that I want to be. I guess there are two sides to every story—one from each point of view. Thank you to those that have given me what I’ve asked of you or what I haven’t asked for. I know that I have created a wonderful support system that has become aware to me, that’s been the best outcome of this whole ordeal. Aunt Janice said to me something this weekend that was very profound. I’m not sure if she meant to catch my thoughts the way she did—the only benefit in looking at the past is to learn something. I’m working on learning about me, about what I want and what I need in a relationship. In some ways I still feel that this fall has been a huge sucker punch to my stomach, but I’m standing again.
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